Randomizing: Volume 1, Number 4


Wow; welcome to the ‘fully deranged department.’ Two young leftists in Massachusetts were caught pulling up flags at a Veterans memorial cemetery and urinating on them. They could be held in heroic regard by Progressives come morning. Maybe they’ll start a urination movement; it would not be the craziest thing we’ve seen.

On Tuesday Rush Limbaugh predicted that before Hurricane Florence even made landfall the media would be blaming Trump for… something. Rush is right again! The Washington Post went there. Since Trump has not been sucked into the Global Warming, oh no oops sorry, climate change con every hurricane, severe storm or tornado will be assigned to him as the guilty party. Wait, what; who is the Party of science?

In the ‘hard to keep it going forever’ department; Senate Intelligence (oxymoron?) Committee Chairman Richard Burr doesn’t expect to find evidence of collusion, but the investigation goes on until the end of the year. Senator, there is plenty of evidence of collusion just not by Trump. Get to work and stop holding hands with Senator Warner!

In the ‘what the hell’ department, if you’re wondering whatever happened to Joe Scarborough and why he would make the 9/11 statement that he did, it’s fairly simple to identify two key words to guide you; Mika and whipped!

“That damn Trump”; American median income hit its highest level ever in 2017 while poverty ticked down marginally.

In the ‘30 percent department’ 30% being a consistent left leaning percentage in most polling if not a bit lower, only 30% of Gallup respondents think Trump colluded with Russia. For the life of me I can’t figure out why it’s that high? Oops, almost forgot, CNN.

Returning to the, ‘can’t make it up’ department. A sociology professor shot himself in the arm with a .22 pistol to protest President Trump. This is not just any professor this is a professor emeritus. He’s facing multiple charges which works because being a moron is not a crime. The Left’s statistician’s will no doubt count this as a “school shooting.”

‘Hill(ary)arous; Apple’s new watch can detect when you’ve fallen! Can we get one that self-destructs when you lie?

In the ‘they always picked me last’ department, Brian Stelter of CNN observes that “reliance on unnamed sources is growing…While trust in the media is shrinking.” Connections anyone, Bueller, anyone?

Susan Collins has refused to be bribed over her Kavanaugh vote. This severe breech of protocol is sending shock waves through Washington D.C; politicians seen running in circles and screaming at the sky in an apoplectic frenzy.