The Future of Social Engagement

In this iteration of modern social engagement we have 1) a guy and 2) a gal. You may substitute whichever of the four dozen gender identifications you feel is appropriate. (My lawyer told me I had to say that.)

Guy: “Hi there, could you let me know what your safe zone is; 3 feet, 5 feet?”

Gal: “Hmm well I guess I’m okay with 5 feet for now.”

Guy: “May I ask your permission to introduce myself?”

Gal: “Okay.”

Guy: “I’m Jim, Jim Wimpmeister, would it be okay to ask your name.”

Gal: “I don’t know. Where do you stand on abortion and free birth control?”

Guy: “Oh I’m totally pro-choice and I’m all about reproductive freedom and women controlling their own bodies and I’m just so against toxic masculinity as a scourge on all womanhood.”

Gal: “How about free speech.”

Guy: “I’m all for free speech so long as it’s not hateful and does not disagree with Progressive orthodoxy.”

Gal: “You know, I just don’t waste my time on people who don’t agree with me and I don’t believe they have a right to intrude on my safeness.” “Anyway, my name is Nancy.”

Guy: ”I am soooooo good with that. Do you think I could approach to 3 feet now?”

Gal: “I don’t know; you know I’ve got to work on my paper.”

Guy: “Really? What’s it about?”

Gal: “Transactional, transnational, intersectional feminism and its effect on the domestic bio sphere. I feel like it’s going to be an important contribution to women everywhere and fits with my major.”

Guy: “Wow!” What’s you major”

Gal: “Feminist Geography.”

***Guy’s phone rings with an aggressive ring tone, he looks down at this phone, smiles, looks at Gal, then back to his phone. He smiles again.

Guy: “Well got to go. Later!”

Gal: “Hey, where are you going, we were doing so well.”

Guy: “Well, really not so much, this has been fairly demeaning; you know the 5 foot thing and the permission to speak thing; the interrogation.” “That was all fairly uncomfortable.”

Gal: “But that’s the price you have to pay to demonstrate your commitment to gender equality women’s issues and Progressive values.”

Guy: “Not anymore, my sex robot just arrived!”