Based on my exclusive, highly placed sources we can report the following private conversation from the White House Residence.
“What’s the matter Barack can’t sleep?”
“Damn right I can’t sleep, I’m losing my MoJo here!”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I told the Press that Benghazi was old news, purely political and that those damn Republicans were turning it into a political circus and they didn’t drop the story. I mean, this is simple, I give them their talking points, they run with it and attack the opposition, now those jackasses are still digging.” He yawns, “At least I’ve still got Ed Schultz and Chris Matthews.”
“So what,” she replied, “there’s no there, there; right?
“Well, there might be an issue or two I’d rather they didn’t know about and if they come up with a connection to Syria it’s going to get really nasty.” “To make matters worse Carney completely blew the briefing because…because, well, they just kept asking questions, then more questions, hard ones; I mean, who do they think they are, it’s just not right.”
“Well, Barack they are journalists and really, you have to give them some credit, they’ve been exceptionally well behaved up to now.”
“I know, I know, but you could just see it in their eyes, they weren’t buying the IRS story either.” And Plouffe, damn him, he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut, who does he think he is? Me?” Hell I can’t even count on ultra Liberals anymore. Dennis Kucinich torched me on Benghazi and the IRS, no cover, no excuses, no parsing; that little puissant just came out and said the White House was guilty of playing politics in both situations, on Fox News no less.
“Barack, you’ve got to calm down, the press will circle back to unquestioned adoration: you know they will”.
I don’t know Michelle, everybody hates this IRS thing; both sides, we did attack that Romney donor during the campaign and then hit him with a couple of audits. There’s a change going on out there. To make matters worse that SOB Bill Clinton called and told me I’d better not throw Hillary under the bus for Benghazi or some very bad things were going to find their way into the press.” “Just what I need, a born again hick threatening me! Me! Panetta won’t take my calls and Petraeus is still pissed off at having a dime dropped on him.” “Hell, even Maureen Dowd’s on my ass. Remind me not to invite her to any more parties.”
“Don’t worry darling you’re the President you can fix this stuff; you survived admitted drug use, campaign finance crap, extreme left wing associations, burying your records, citizenship, Reverend Wright, Bill Ayres, my job at the hospital, and the Tony Resko deal. You’ll be fine, this too will pass; the press will come around.”
“Now, now, here; smoke a joint it’ll help you sleep.”