Stephanie’s Got The Answer

I got an e-mail from Ms. Stephanie Cutter. I’ll be crawling into my underground shelter on March 1st because the next day we’re going to have problems in River City, big problems: more people living on the street, slashed health care, slower emergency response, reduced access to early education, teachers, first responders, seniors, children, men and women in uniform. All will fall to the ax of a 2% cut, not a cut in actual spending, just a cut in the rate of spending growth. My God, what will happen if we actually cut the dollars we’re spending?? I imagine in the face of actual cuts Stephanie, can I call you Stephanie, would be in an apoplectic fit, followed by days curled up in the fetal position.

It’s a ‘sledgehammer’ approach says Stephanie, ‘indiscriminate!’ We need higher taxes! We have this problem in the first place because of tax loopholes for: oil companies, vacation homes and private jet owners. Stephanie adds for emphasis; “I’m not kidding”. Wow, that private jet thing just won’t go away, facts notwithstanding.

The buzz words are all present, all lined up prettily; the rich, fair share, balanced plan and of course working and middle class families. Good job with the buzz words Steph, don’t think you missed a one of them; and all in just one e-mail. But wait, there’s more.

10,000 teacher layoffs, $400 million from Head Start, at-risk preschoolers have no prayer. Senior nutrition is in jeopardy and we’ll be throwing people out on the street. Who would have thought that 2% would create this much havoc?

I’m guessing you’ve cut your personal spending by much more than 2%. You would have had to considering the price of gas, increasing health insurance costs, food inflation, non health related insurance costs and increases in State and Local taxes.

The problem for Stephanie is, of course, that Republicans are protecting the evil rich. Stephanie skips over the tax loopholes created for Democratic Party constituencies, Hollywood comes to mind, but well, that’s different. Why? Well, just because it is!

You’ll be glad to know that to hold off this American Armageddon is incredibly simple; just donate $25 to Organizing for America. Do it today or we’re all going to die! So says Stephanie.