Never to disappoint:

CHAPEL HILL - Monty Johnson was heading home Monday with a cooler full of catfish when he learned his new neighbor had turned him into a minor celebrity.

The first calls on his cell phone came from two lawyers asking to represent him in a slander case. Elizabeth Edwards, they told him, had called him a “rabid, rabid Republican.” That wasn’t all. The Democratic presidential candidate’s wife also told The Associated Press she didn’t want her children near Johnson because, she said, he once pulled a gun on workers investigating a right of way on his property.

Johnson, a 55-year-old retired landscaper with arthritic knees, said he’s not interested in suing.

“I’d just like to know why she has such hard feelings to me,” he said. “They say they’re for poor people.”

But apparently, you’re nobody until Elizabeth Edwards dislikes you.

But wait, as further proof that there are two Americas and the Edwards’ look down on one of them:

Johnson didn’t rebut Edwards’ comments. He’s a proud member of the Grand Old Party and owns a 9 mm handgun he said he’s not afraid to use.

What got his goat, he says, was Edwards’ calling his 42-acre property “slummy.”

Of course, John Edwards was quick to defend his wife:

Efforts to reach Elizabeth Edwards on Tuesday failed. John Edwards, asked about Johnson while catching a flight for New York on Tuesday night, said, “You’ll have to ask Elizabeth about him.”

Or wait, he hung her out to dry and skirted the question.

Way to look out for the little guy Mr. & Mrs. “Two Americas” Edwards.

The full Monty:

Update @ 7:15pm by Nate:

Edwards supports Imus:

“I believe in redemption, I believe in forgiveness,” Edwards said of Imus, who was suspended earlier in the week after calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team “nappy headed hos.”

So we’ll be awaiting his wife’s apology to Monty Johnson.

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